Golden Memories

I've kind of been putting off writing this post because I've known what I wanted to write about, but I haven't been able to make myself get the words out of my mind. You guys may know this, since I think I've written about it before, but every year at my school I perform in the winter musical.

This year the musical was Legally Blonde and because of snow days, we ended up being about seven rehearsals behind schedule. The last week and a half of rehearsal (a.k.a. "Hell Week," and aptly named) was one of the most frantic and longest weeks I'd ever had. And I loved every minute of it. I helped a bit with the stage crew because the set transitions were insane. Running around backstage, getting everyone's hair and makeup in place, figuring out where to put our costumes for quick changes; every moment of it was funny and interesting, and made the whole company really focus and work to get the show perfect.

And at the end of everything, when the cast party's done, the senior speeches had been said, and all of the goodbye tears had dried, I took a step back to savor the feeling that for at least a few hours, in my small corner, everything was right in the universe.

Looking around that room, I realized that I was going to have to treasure this glowing feeling forever because it was never going to happen again. That particular group of people, who had worked together and grown together, was never going to be all in the same room together ever again. From that day forward, there would always be someone missing, or who graduated, someone who didn't share the experience of this specific show. And I felt the loss of this family because I knew it was going to evolve and change into something unknown, but at the same time I felt so proud of all of us. The happiness that was so evident in everyone's eyes reflected silvery all through the room and filled up my lungs so I could barely breathe through the joy of it. I wanted to take a step and start floating through the air because I knew with absolute certainty that this love all around me would not let me fall.

And I know that I'll never feel that way again, not exactly. So I'm going to cherish it, and remember it, and let it carry me through dark times, because I know that the world is so full of gorgeous shining moments waiting for me to find, and when that time comes I'll remember that too.

That was a lot more metaphorical than I was originally intending, but I quite like how it turned out. Thanks for listening to me going on about feelings again, guys. I'll see you all soon.

Leslie Ann O'Dell; Unknown; last two courtesy of BKBROWN